Jackie, I May Have Shrunk The Kids, Sort Of
by scifigeekgirl
Summary: Follows Crop Circles. TenII/Rose and their kids, Jamie and Zoe have been asked to watch Tony while Pete and Jackie are away. Rose finds the kids in Pete's study near an old movie prop which turns out to not be just a prop. Will the Doctor find his shrunken family before Jackie gets back?
1. Chapter 1

a/n: This follows Crop Circles and is part of my Time, Eternals and The Domestic Life series.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Doctor Who

The Doctor was whinging quite noisily as he drove he, Rose and their two children, Jamie and Zoe to the Tyler mansion. Rose was giving him "the look."

"Doctor, it's only a couple of nights. Tony's not old enough to stay on his own and Mum feels better with us there while she and Pete head off to this charity auction thing in Aberdeen."

The Doctor pouted. "Why can't Tony stay with us at the Manor? I don't see why we have to be inconvenienced just to make sure he doesn't sneak off to go play video games or football with his friends. It's not like he's gonna go do something bad like unleash a horde of sabre toothed rats to terrorize London."

Jamie looked up from the back seat, cocked his head to the side with an inquisitive expression. The Doctor sent him a quick "never mind" telepathic message and he turned back to his math equations on his iPad.

Rose sighed. "Because he's only thirteen and Mum doesn't want to impose on the house keepin' staff and besides, she'll feel better knowin' we're there keepin' an eye on him."

"Yes, but it's boring here and there's loads more to do at the Manor," the Doctor continued to moan. Rose rolled her eyes at his complaints. He always kicked up a fuss at visiting the Tyler Mansion and yet always found some trouble to get into while there.

"You know Mum's never been completely comfortable at the Manor. What with the rift and all, she doesn't want Tony spending a whole lot of time near it. Especially after everything that happened with us and the Eternals, she thinks he's gonna fall into the rift and disappear or play with alien tech or we're gonna take 'im away in the Tardis and she won't see 'im for a year."

"One time, Rose. It was one time and I never hear the end of it," he groused thinking about his Ninth incarnation when he returned Rose to Jackie a year late. He swore his cheek still stung from that slap.

"Doctor, it's just this once. Besides, it's not all bad. Pete just bought this old movie prop left over from this 1960s movie, _Fantastic Voyage_ and he has it at the house. It's supposed to be this prop where…." Rose started to explain before the Doctor jumped in interrupting her.

"Where they used it to shrink down a vessel and its crew that they injected into a scientist with a blood clot on his brain!" the Doctor said with excitement and a glint in his eyes. "I loved that film! Brilliant plot and technology centuries ahead of its time!"

"Manipulation of energy to miniaturize matter in proportion to the original subject!" Jamie shouted. "Excellent!"

"Are we shrinking Uncle Tony?" Zoe asked, now mildly interested enough to put down her ipad.

"No, we aren't!" Rose responded strongly and then turned to the Doctor who was smirking.

"Don't you even," Rose warned.

The Doctor made an exaggerated hurt expression at her and then turned to the kids and winked.

Rose slumped back in her seat and stared out the window thinking how this was going to be a really long weekend. Little did she know, that thought was going to be proven true.

When they arrived, Jackie and Pete were packing up the car. After hugging the children and Rose and then turning a stern eye on the Doctor who rolled his eyes, they drove off. The kids were already inside with Tony who was playing Minecraft Survival Elite. Rose stuck her head in the family room and sighed. Tony was playing his favorite Jackie approved video game while Jamie and Zoe were still glued to their iPads, looking up occasionally when Tony shouted out in glee. Her Mum would have a fit if she knew Tony often snuck off to play World of Warcraft with Pete and she was surprised Tony hadn't whipped it out as soon as their parents were out the door. The Doctor had taken their luggage up to their rooms and Rose was sure something would distract him before she saw him again, so after checking on the kids, she went into the kitchen to make some tea.

Tony was vaguely aware that his niece and nephew had entered the room. They didn't bother him too much other than he thought they were a bit out of touch with reality on Earth. His Mum had made him promise to be nice and always look out for them as things wouldn't be easy being they were so brilliant and there father was a nutter. Tony smiled internally at that. He loved the Doctor. His brother-in-law was the cool member of the family. He'd taken Tony on several adventures that no one knew about, not even his sister. The Doctor never talked down to him and always treated him as if he was as smart as the Doctor himself.

He'd never forget the day he'd been sent home from school for brawling and the Doctor had come into his room to talk to him while Rose had tried to calm his Mum down. As the Doctor quietly sat down, he listened to the echo of his Mum screaming downstairs and flinched every time she said "whip his arse." The Doctor didn't judge him. He talked about Tony's black eye and the biology and science of contusions. Usually, Tony would have rolled his eyes but at that time, he was relieved to hear his brother-in-law babble. Tony eventually confessed that he'd been teased and tormented non-stop by a group of boys at school and had just reached his limit. The Doctor didn't yell at him for lashing out but suggested other ways to handle the situation.

Tony and the Doctor came downstairs just as Pete arrived home and they had a family meeting. He considered himself lucky Rose was there to help mediate things with his parents. He confessed what was happening at school and knew what he did was wrong and apologized. His Mum had immediately relented and hugged him. His Dad took him for a walk, lecturing on brawling at school being wrong but ended up teaching him a few defensive moves after sternly telling him this was a last resort and how proud he was of his son for standing up for himself. He ended with "Just don't do it again or your Mum will have your arse." When Tony returned to school, he implemented one of the Doctor's suggestions and soon the bullies were running, from the building screaming as hundreds of spiders spilled from their lockers and crawled all over them. No one knew where hundreds of harmless house spiders came from but the bullies suddenly made a wide berth around Tony who now had quite a group of his own supporters surrounding him.

That was a few years ago but Tony never forgot it. He looked over as Jamie came to stand next to him staring intently at the telly. He knew Jamie had probably never even seen this game before. Jamie and Zoe both always seemed to be engrossed in their iPads and whatever alien stuff the Doctor gave to them. Tony was well aware of the family's secrets and knew how different their family was. It drew them all together and made for a tight knit family. Of course, tight knit didn't mean he couldn't tease his brilliant nephew and niece.

"So Gryffindor twins, guess you're stuck here with us earthlings for a while."

"Jamie and I are not twins. A twin is one of two offspring who are either monozygotic, fertilized from the same egg, or dizygotic from two separate fertilized eggs and who gestate together in the same womb and are born subsequent to one another. Jamie was birthed before me," Zoe said matter of fact.

Tony rolled his eyes and looked at Jamie who had his sonic out and pointed it at the game.

"Hey! Dweeboid! Don't muck it up!" Tony yelled, as the screen swirled and righted itself with the game on pause.

Jamie pocketed his sonic. "Fine, don't enjoy the extra two levels I just added. Be a boring homo sapien." He turned and went back to the couch and his ipad.

Tony looked at the game and then sighed. "Dammit!" he muttered as he realized Jamie had actually done something nice for him and now he was going to have to thank the little nutter genius.

"Nan doesn't allow cursing," Zoe reminded him, her eyes never leaving her screen as her trainer clad feet dangled over the edge of the sofa.

He turned around, arms crossed and found Jamie grinning at him. "You're welcome, Uncle Tony," he said, enunciating _Uncle Tony_ as he knew Tony hated it.

"Fine, you did something nice without blowing something up. You were lucky…this time."

Jamie flopped back onto the sofa and toyed with his sonic. "Luck has nothing to do with it. It was a simple program and besides, if it imploded, you were at the top level anyway," he said, focused on his sonic.

"The point is it's mine! You should have asked but since you didn't break it, I'll let you off easy this time."

Jamie smirked. Zoe shook her head, her long brown braids brushing her pale pink top and said softly, "Boys and their toys" an expression she often heard her mother mutter after walking away from her father and Jamie tinkering with something.

"Anyway, I have better things to do," Tony announced, shut off his game and turned to leave.

"Oh? Like what?" Jamie asked, interested in doing something new. Sitting around at Nan's was hardly his favorite thing to do.

Tony looked at the door to make sure no one was listening and then turned back to Jamie and whispered. "Dad's got this ray gun thing locked up in his study. It's this lame movie prop from some ancient sci fi movie he saw when he was a kid. He won't let anyone near it."

Jamie grinned enthusiastically immediately understanding what Tony was getting at and after hearing his parents talk about it in the car, he wanted to join in. Besides, it was an adventure and he was bored. "And you want to see it up close and perhaps need some…assistance with the breaking and entering part?"

Tony snorted. "I don't need help. I know where it is and all I have to do is pick the lock."

Zoe looked up at this. "A sonic would facilitate the illegal entry."

Tony stared at her. She had a point. "All right, I suppose you could tag along. Just be quiet!"

Zoe jumped off the couch, her iPad tucked under her arm and followed Tony and Jamie as they snuck down the hall toward Pete's study. Luckily, the Doctor was still upstairs, the housekeeping staff was busy and Rose was in the kitchen so they didn't have to worry too much. Jamie made short work of the lock and the three of them ducked into the office and quietly closed the door.

Pete's study was a perfect example of posh masculinity. The walls were lined floor to ceiling with dark wood shelves filled with books and assorted bric-a-brac. The room was dominated by a huge mahogany desk sitting in front of a wall of windows. There was a well-worn leather sofa and equally worn chairs. The floor was wooden parquet scattered with a few Persian rugs. There was no doubt this was Pete Tyler's office. The three jean clad children slowly walked in like they expected to be caught at any time.

They found the device in a corner sitting on a table with a protective cover over it. "Whoa," the boys said in unison as the ray gun was revealed. They stared at it as if it was the most beautiful thing they had ever seen. Zoe stood back and observed. It was about three feet long built of what looked like glass and silver metal with lots of wires and switches and had an almost steampunk air about it.

Zoe had a bad feeling as she looked at the device despite the boys' awe and excitement. It was impressive looking but Zoe was far more impressed with how it worked, not how many lights, switches or how shiny it was. She often wondered what it was with boys and how something looked. She'd once asked her mother about her father's comment of adding a certain shiny component to the Tardis console just because it looked sexy. Her mum had promised her she'd understand when she was older. How much older did she have to be to understand though? It just seemed silly to her and judging by the way her mother had rolled her eyes, it was silly to her mum too. Sometimes she thought she would never understand males.

Tony was the first to touch it and lightly ran his fingers over the shiny metal parts. "This isn't as lame as I thought it would be," he commented. "Do you think it's real? I mean, can we turn it on?"

Jamie chewed his lip nervously and walked around it. "You said it was a movie prop. It shouldn't work…"

"Yeah, but why would Dad lock it up then? There must be some reason he locked it up," Tony reasoned as he continued to poke and prod at it.

"Jamie, don't," Zoe said, clinging to her iPad in front of her protectively. As she often did, Zoe seemed to stare at something no one else could see. "Accidents happen and it's a long trek through the jungle."

Jamie immediately walked over to Zoe and put a hand on her arm. "Zo zo?" he said softly.

"Man, but your sister can be spooky. What's she goin' on about anyway?"

Jamie turned and glared at Tony. "Zoe sees things we can't. Dad says she's more in tune with the ebb and flow of the universe." He turned back to Zoe who blinked and seemed more focused on him. "Can we get ice cream now?" she asked as if nothing happened.

"In a bit. I just want to get another look at this," Jamie told her, now satisfied she was okay and turned his attention back to the ray gun. Zoe sighed knowing this would not end well. Jamie pulled out his sonic and aimed it at the ray gun.

Meanwhile, Rose was pouring a cup of tea for herself and contemplating snacks for the kids when she was overcome by worry. Usually, such a feeling meant the kids were about to get into trouble or the Doctor was about to blow something up or both. She tapped her fingers on the kitchen counter and told the Mrs. Cornwall, the cook, that she would be back in a bit to talk about lunch. She quickly made her way to the family room and finding it empty, knew she had to hurry. They were up to something. Her mother's intuition kicked in and she tapped into psychic senses the Doctor had trained her how to use and felt drawn toward Pete's office.

dwdwdwdwdwdw

The Doctor was distracted but not with worry for Tony and his children. He was focused on a lamp of all things. Jackie had redecorated the guest bedroom they were staying in while watching over Tony. After he set the luggage down, he was focused on the hideous aubergine ceramic lamp with a base that was shaped like a curvy lava lamp. He was immediately suspicious as it reminded him of the Talaxadorans. They were a silicate species that looked like beautiful purple sculptures, that is, until you got close to admire them. Then, they liquefied and engulfed you, absorbing all the minerals out of your body. The Doctor's eyes narrowed and he slowly reached for his sonic. He had a family to protect after all and no Talaxadoran was going to get the best of him. Little did he know as he jumped forward, sonic aimed at the alleged alien lamp, that his actions were about to have unforeseen consequences.

Dwdwdwdwdwdw

The door to Pete's office slammed open and Rose stood there staring at Tony who had his hands on the ray gun, Zoe who stood nearby watching them and Jaime who had his sonic aimed at it.

"What do you think you're doin?" she called out as she rushed in. Just about that time in the guest bedroom that was directly above them, the Doctor activated his sonic aimed at what he believed to be a nefarious purple lamp and that's when it all went pear shaped. The ray gun began to glow and the air around it began to crackle. Rose ran and grabbed Zoe just as Tony and Jamie backed toward her, swearing they hadn't done anything. A white searing light enveloped them and then the ray gun sparked and smoke started coming out. Rose woke up lying on the floor with the kids collapsed around her.

"Zoe!" she called out, shaking her daughter who was lying unconscious next to her.

Eventually, Zoe's eyes flutter open. "Mummy, everything's wrong," she said as she rubbed her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Rose asked worried.

Zoe nodded her head and Rose turned to Jamie and Tony who were slowly sitting up.

"What happened?" Tony asked, squinting and rubbing his head.

"I'll tell ya what happened!" Rose announced in her best lecturing mum voice. "You lot broke into Pete's office and mucked about with something you shouldn't have. That's what happened."

"But, Roooose, we didn't do anything. We just wanted to see it," Tony whinged.

Rose glared at Tony and then turned to Jamie. "You did a bit more than just see it. It didn't turn on and get all glowy by itself."

"It shouldn't have turned on at all, Mum. It's just supposed to be some movie prop, not a real ray gun or a real anything," Jamie protested.

"And that's why you had your sonic out and aimed at it then? This falls under stuff you're not supposed to do with your sonic, Mister! You are in so much trouble. If that thing's broken, Pete's gonna have both of your hides," Rose lectured and glared at both Tony and Jamie who at least had the good sense to look down at the floor.

Zoe tugged at Rose's denim jacket. "What is it, sweetheart?" Rose asked as she ran a hand up and down Zoe's arm. "Mum, this house is not bigger on the inside."

Rose looked at her puzzled and then looked around. Her jaw dropped.

"Rose!" Tony shouted as he looked at the now oversized furniture around them.

"Brilliant," Jamie breathed. "It worked!" he shouted as he jumped up excited.

"Worked! Whadda ya mean it worked!" Rose exclaimed as she and Zoe stood up. As she looked around the room at the now giant furniture surrounding her, she couldn't help but wonder if they were all having some shared nightmare. Surely, the house did not expand around them. Then the sinking feeling started and she looked over at her excited son who had his sonic out and was scanning the room and muttering, not unlike his father. "Jamie!" she shouted to get his attention.

"The shrinking ray, Mum! It worked!" Jamie told her excitedly. "We are exactly 95.9786 percent smaller than we were!"

Tony paced back and forth frantically, his hands in his short ginger hair, stopped and stared at them in horror. "Mum's gonna kill me!" Then he paced a few more steps. "No, she's gonna kill you!" he said pointing at Jamie. "This is your fault! You're the one that soniced that thing!"

"Me!" Jamie called out indignantly. "It was your idea to come in her and you asked me to figure out if it would work!"

The two boys began a shouting match. Rose rubbed her temples as she realized how bad this was and particularly with two contentious, stubborn boys. Zoe just stood by her side. "Boys," she said quietly shaking her head and then she let out an ear piercing whistle.

Rose looked down at her and smiled. "That's my girl," she murmured before turning the boys, arms crossed in front of her. "I don't care which of you did it, although I'm willin' to pass the blame around. All that matters is that we fix it and I mean now!"

Jamie looked at her and chewed on his lip and dug his trainers into the floor as he looked down at his sonic.

"You don't know how do ya?" she asked softly. He looked back at her and before he could say anything, Tony began shouting.

"That's just great! Genius doesn't know how and we're stuck the size of a…of a…"

"Totgor Ant," Zoe supplied helpfully.

Tony glared at her. "Only you would compare us to some alien bug!"

"Tony!" Rose said warningly. Tony had not been exposed very much to this part of the family's life. After the zombie invasion at Rose and the Doctor's wedding, Jackie had put her foot down. Tony was not to be exposed to any more Torchwood or alien stuff. Rose and the Doctor had done their best to respect Jackie's wishes so it was only natural that Tony would be extremely upset to be in this situation. Rose knew she needed to get control and calm him down.

"Oh my gawd! My match this afternoon! I'm gonna miss it!" he shouted and again gripped at his hair.

"Tony, calm down! We'll get you to your match. We just have to figure this out and besides, the Doctor's around and if anyone can fix it, it's him," Rose said in a calming voice. "Right, so let's…." she started to say before the cleaning staff arrived. "Run!" she shouted and grabbed Zoe's hand tugging her along as they raced for under the table, trying to avoid the dust and parts littering the floor that had blown off of the shrink ray gun. As they ducked under the table to avoid being stepped on, Rose began to worry. The cleaning staff were giants to them now and certainly would not notice miniature people running about. Rose hid them behind the table legs which were like giant redwood trees compared to their diminutive size. They could hear the maids tutting about the mess on the floor from the exploding ray gun and soon the automated hoover the Doctor had so helpfully supplied the cleaning staff, aptly named Mr. Happy Hoover and emblazoned with a happy face on its front, was rumbling in the room.

"Oh no," Rose whispered.

"Mum, this…this is bad," Jamie intoned, staring fearfully at the robotic hoover taking aim for them.

"Shit!" Rose cursed as she herded them all back toward the wall away from the hoover with the happy face on its front making its merry way toward them with it's Doctor enhanced super sonic suction. At that point, Rose sent out a very loud panicked telepathic shout at the Doctor.

dwdwdwdwdwdwdw

The Doctor, who was staring at the crumbled and powdered remains of what was once a purple lamp, bits of which were now embedded in the walls and smoke from its destruction was filling the room, flinched when he felt Rose's call for help.

"Rose!" he shouted, turned and ran toward the door, only to trip over the suitcase he'd dropped carelessly in the doorway when he'd caught sight of the lamp. His sonic rolled away from him upon is graceless collapse. He cursed and reached for it as he untangled himself from the luggage sending Rose a mental "I'm coming, hang on!"

dwdwdwdwdwdwdw

Rose was hanging on, for dear life as were all the children as the suction from Mr. Happy Hoover became more intense.

"Mummy!" Zoe screamed as her beloved ipad was sucked away while she gripped onto Rose, her legs dangling in the air as they were pulled horizontal. Tony and Jamie were hanging on to a lamp cord as their lifeline screaming out in terror.

Rose reached for Zoe and hauled her closer to her as she held onto a telephone cord which she looped around her arm. "Jamie!" she shouted over the noise of the hoover which at this size was deafening. "Jamie, do you have your sonic?"

Jamie quickly pulled it from his pocket. "Can you short circuit it?" Rose screamed.

Jamie nodded and aimed his sonic at the terrifying Mr. Happy Hoover but it didn't seem to be doing much. Rose felt her son's panic and gathered a vague thought that the sonic's reduced size was diminishing its effectiveness. Without asking, Zoe pulled her mum's sonic out and aimed it at the demonic hoover. Jamie tried again in conjunction with Zoe and suddenly Mr. Happy Hoover was not so happy. It stopped and smoke started floating out of it. Rose and the children fell to the ground with a thump.

"Thank God!" Rose moaned and sat up. "Everyone all right?"

"All right!" Tony shouted. "We were almost hoovered to death by some happy faced robotic hoover!" he said, glaring at the now defunct Mr. Happy Hoover.

"Jamie, whose brown hair was now as tousled as his father's looked at Rose and quirked a smile "Not a very dignified way to end one's life. Is it Mum?"

Rose breathed a shuddering sigh of relief. If he was joking, he was alright. Zoe looked up at Rose and very calmly stated. "I'm hungry. Dust doesn't taste very good. Can I have my ice cream now?"

"Ice cream!" Tony shouted. "You want ice cream, now? Are you completely barmy!"

"Oi! That's enough, Tony." Rose warned. "We'll get this sorted and then have a good laugh…over ice cream and then get you to your game. Now then, the Doctor should be here any minute." She thought to the Doctor. "What the bloody blazes is takin' you so long. We got a crisis here!"

One of the maids picked up the robotic hoover, shook it and parts came crashing down all around Rose and the children who screamed and went running out of the way. They heard the maid curse about robot hoover rubbish and toss it aside as another maid arrived with a broom and dust bin.

"Oh no," Rose whispered as she backed the kids away.

Tony's eyes widened. "She's gonna bin us!"

Before Rose could utter another word, they were all caught up in the broom and swept into a dust bin.


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: This follows Crop Circles and is part of my Time, Eternals and The Domestic Life series. So, the whole Lady Bird idea was for **who_in_whoville** who has been posting the most gorgeous lady bird pics on tumblr and it was those pics that inspired this story. Ginger's name came from LJ friends when I posted an request for ideas.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Doctor Who

The Doctor finally made it downstairs and tried to focus on Rose's thoughts. Unfortunately, everything was garbled like she was panicking over something. "Rose!" he called out. There was no answer. Actually, the house was silent, too silent. The Doctor rubbed at his face and ran toward the kitchen. "Mrs. Cornwall, have you seen Rose?"

Mrs. Cornwall smiled at the Doctor. He was in her good graces since he modified the toaster to toast everything perfectly. Of course, he had to modify several toasters due to certain minor fires but he did ultimately make her life a little easier. She also found him just a bit charming too. "Yes Doctor, she left to check on the children a few minutes ago. Have you checked the family room? Young Mr. Tyler was in there playing his games."

"Ah yes, well, I'll just go check there," he said and turned to leave but then stuck his head back in the kitchen. "You wouldn't be making chocolate hazelnut biscuits would you?" he asked, a hopeful look in his eyes as he tugged on his ear.

She smiled broadly at him. "Oh, there may be some hot from the oven at luncheon, Doctor."

"Brilliant!" he said and dashed off.

The Family Room was vacant except for Tony's video game and Jamie's iPad. The Doctor grew more concerned. Jamie was practically glued to his iPad. He reached out to Rose telepathically but was still getting nothing but garbled panic from her. He placed his fingers to his temples to try and focus. "Rose, calm down. Focus!"

He then received the mental equivalent of a slap and flinched. "Right, the old fashioned way then," he muttered and pulled out his sonic. He found an odd energy signature and followed it to Pete's office where he found the maids leaving. He smiled and winked at them and ventured into the room. His eyes were immediately drawn to the ray gun. "Oh you beauty!" he breathed and walked over to as if he was magnetically drawn to it. He cooed and delighted over it until he felt something crunch under his foot. He put on his glasses and knelt down to the hard wood floor beneath the table on which the ray gun sat. He soniced his glasses to increase the magnification and then promptly fell backwards.

"No, no, no! It can't be!" He looked up at the ray gun and down at what he had surmised was a tiny crushed mobile. He pulled his glasses off and then put them back on and stared at the floor. "Rose? Jamie? Zoe? Tony, you down there?" he said softly with a look of horror on his face. Then he jumped up with a yelp and looked at where he was sitting examining carefully with slightly shaking hands.

While scanning the area, his eyes landed on the broken Mr. Happy Hoover. He reached for it and gently opened it up noting the slightly acrid smell of burnt parts. He put his glasses on while he scanned the contents and breathed a sigh of relief. He smirked as he realized what had destroyed Mr. Happy Hoover. He couldn't help but grin at his clever family. Then it hit him. They're not here and they didn't get caught up in his clever robotic hoover. Where were they? He reached out to Rose and felt only a muffled response and her concern for the children. He scanned the room with his sonic one more time and found no trace. Then, it hit him. The maids!

dwdwdwdwdwdwdwdw

The children and Rose were swept into a dust bin. All of them were coughing and jostling all over each other, dust and debris from the ray gun. "Tony, Jamie?" Rose coughed out after feeling Zoe clinging to her leg.

"Mum!" Jamie called back, panic in his voice.

"I'm here," Tony responded. "Where ever that is."

Rose couldn't see anything as it was pitch black and the air was filled with dirt. All of a sudden, she felt herself sliding forward. "Oh no," she muttered. "Zoe, Tony, Jamie, hang on! I think we're about to be….biiiinnnnned!" she screamed as she slid forward and landed in a pile of potato peelings.

"Bloody hell!" Tony moaned.

"Oi! Language!" Rose chastised him as she shifted on the spongy pile of potato. "Everyone with me?"

"At least it was a soft landing," Jamie mumbled not far from Rose.

"It smells like decomposing kitchen refuse," Zoe calmly announced and then wrinkled her nose.

"Tony, do you have your mobile," Rose asked after sitting up and looking around to get her bearings. It was dark and the air was warm and humid, permeated by the smell of rotting refuse.

"No," he said, sounding miserable.

"Jamie?" Rose asked.

"It fell out of my pocket," he said sounding equally glum.

"Okay, well we need to get out of here and figure out where we are exactly."

"Where we are?" Tony asked. "We're in the rubbish that's where we are," he moaned miserably.

"Yeah well, we have to give the Doctor more information than that. He'll be goin' mad with worry when he figures out what happened and judging by what I'm feelin' from him, he's half mad already."

"Can't you just tell 'im we've been binned using that telepathy thing?" Tony asked, as he slid down some potato peel and something else wet and slimy he didn't want to think about.

"Yeah, but he's not gonna know where that is and when emotions are runnin' high it garbles the message a bit." Rose defaulted to Torchwood training mode and crawled over and felt the dark smooth material she was near. "Soft. Maybe plastic or vinyl of some sort. I think if we cut through here, we can get out."

The children slid and scampered over to Rose, wincing at the slimy and slippery potato peel. Rose used her sonic to slice a hole in the plastic bag that they were trapped in. Fresh air wooshed in and they all breathed a sigh of relief. She stuck her head out and realized not only was it a long way down but they were no longer inside the house. They were near the utility garage opposite the house. It was going to be a long walk through the lawn to reach safety. She really started to worry at that thought and tried to send a message to the Doctor. He was in turmoil himself so she tried to send him a picture of the bin sack and the yard and that's when she heard a loud noise. It was like a buzz saw only louder. "Oh m gawd!" she gasped. "We've got to get out of here now!" she shouted as a swarm of flies started to descend.

"They can't like eat us can they?" Tony asked nervously as he saw the flies beginning to swoop down and fly toward them.

"Genus musca consume nectar, blood or decaying debris depending on the specific species," Zoe recited.

"We're in the rubbish and she's givin' a science lesson?" Tony said, staring at Zoe. "Wait a minute, there's decaying stuff all around us. We're covered in it!" Tony said, beginning to panic.

"They probably won't eat us though. I mean, flies don't eat anything that's not liquid," Jamie said, but wasn't sounding so sure.

"It'll be fine, Tony," Rose assured him, trying to stay calm. "They're not gonna eat us but they could be a bit…" she started to say as a fly came in and shoved her backward against the children. Tony caught her.

"Uh Mum, I think it's time to run," Jamie suggested as they ducked away from another fly.

Rose soniced a strip of the bin bag loose. "Kids, we're goin' for a ride. Hold on tight."

"What?" Tony said as he watched his sister. "You're crazy!"

"Come on Uncle Tony, live a little," Jamie teased as he grabbed Tony's hand, latched onto the strip of bin bag and followed his sister and mother as they shouted "Allons-y!" and repelled down the side of the sack.

dwdwdwdwdwdwdw

The Doctor was about to run through the house to find the cleaning staff but thoughts of his children, Rose and Tony clinging precariously to some cleaning implement stopped him. He slowly, with his sonic out in front of him and his enhanced glasses on, made his way through the house on his hands and knees searching for any trace of them. As he inched forward, he nearly bumped into to one of the maids. "Don't move," he told the startled woman who followed his command. He scanned the area and looked back up at her.

The maid stared down at him in confusion. "Sir?"

"Did you clean Pete's office today?" he asked her, still on his knees.

The maid nodded. "Yes, Sir. I was just going in to finish up."

"No!" he shouted and then calmed. "I mean, did you sweep up in there? I noticed the hoover was, you know," he said, waving his hand about.

The maid stared at his big brown eyes which were now magnified by his altered glasses. "Yes Sir, it broke so I swept up. I was just goin' back to finish the dustin."

"Swept up. Yes, course you did," he said nodding, his mind whirring with thoughts of is missing family. "And, exactly how'd you that?" he asked with a furrowed brow as he sat on the floor.

The maid raised her eyebrows at his question. She hadn't worked long for the Tylers but had heard the other maids talking about the oddness of the family. A few had made comments about Mrs. Tyler's son-in-law who was known as the Doctor and considered a little off. Comments were often made about everyone wondering how his wife put up with him. Of course, they all said it with a chuckle and followed it by the pretty ones are always a bit off.

Finally, she responded. "With a broom and dust bin, Sir," she answered as if he was daft.

"Ah, yes. And where might I find that broom and dust bin?"

She stared at him again as if she couldn't believe he was asking this. "The cleaning supplies cupboard, through the kitchen and in the laundry room."

"Brilliant," he muttered and looked back up at her. "What's your name?"

"Emily, Sir."

"Well Emily, how would you and the rest of the staff like the weekend off?" the Doctor asked with a charming grin.

"But, Mrs. Tyler…"

"Ohhh, don't worry about her" he said convincingly. "She's not here and I am. You might say that Rose and I are in charge now so to speak, running the house, overseers of everything domestic! Besides Emily, I think you deserve the weekend off. In fact, I think the entire staff deserves a bit of a holiday, sooo why don't you let everyone else know. Okay?"

Emily stared at him. She wasn't comfortable with this and didn't want to get sacked. Of course, a weekend off would be nice. She decided she better confirm what he was saying. "You're giving the entire household staff a holiday, Sir?"

"Yep!" he said popping his p's and rocking back as he knelt before her with a huge grin on his face while mentally hoping he could empty the house of staff to give himself more leeway in his search.

"Well, thank you, Sir. I'll let everyone know, if you're sure?" Emily said hesitantly.

"Oh yes! Perfectly sure. Absolutely!" he answered.

She nodded her head and turned to go.

"Oh Emily!" he called out.

"Yes, Sir?" she responded

"Watch your step would ya? I have a bit of a delicate experiment running around and it's small.. as in tiny and delicate. Very, very important. The most important so please, be careful, yes?"

Emily stared at the floor and then back at him. She'd heard about his experiments and suddenly felt the urge to get as far away from here as soon as possible. She slowly and with great care walked back to the kitchen and informed the staff all of whom looked up in horror and were eager to escape. None of them wanted to risk coming face to face with a Doctor experiment gone awry. The Doctor stood in the doorway and watched the staff file nervously out the door, each of them staring at the floor as if it would suddenly animate and try and eat them.

Once he had herded the staff off, the Doctor went to work. He soon realized Rose and the children were not in the dust bin or on the broom nor anywhere in the cleaning cupboard or the kitchen. He still wasn't getting much from Rose other than panic and relief at children being safe. He was somewhat less panicked knowing that Rose was there with the children and she was more than capable of handling something like miniaturization. Not that he was happy about it, but he knew they would be okay until he found them. As he ate his banana in the kitchen, he thought about where they could be and suddenly he was assaulted with a vision of flies, a bin bag and massive stalks of thick grass. He nearly choked on his banana as he realized they were outside in the yard. He turned and looked out the kitchen window at the green lawn and felt his stomach sink.

"It'll be a jungle out there to them," he murmured. He scrubbed his face and began forming plans for how to find them.

dwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdw

Rose stood with the children around her next to the bin bag and stared at the tall grass before them.

"We have to walk through all that to get back to the house?" Tony asked, staring at the grass which to him at this size was a forest or jungle of grass and anything in that jungle would be dangerous to them at this small size.

Rose let go of her breath. "Yeah, 'fraid so. I'll keep trying to let the Doctor know where we are but the lawn…well, it's a big yard and we are awfully tiny. It's a lot of area for him to search." Rose looked back the trash they just escaped from and all the flies buzzing around it. She could hear many other noises around including a few birds who she thought were eyeing them as a tasty meal. She didn't want to worry the kids but she had to get them moving. It wasn't safe for them out in the open like this. "It could take a bit for the Doctor to find us and we can't stay here. It'd be better in the house so we have to keep moving.

"So, first things first, we need to get our bearings and set a course toward the house," she said in her best Torchwood leader voice.

"Reconnisance," Tony said with a grin.

Rose smiled at him. He had been paying attention during family dinners when she and Pete had been talking shop. "That's right, Tony," she said, praising him. She saw they were near a flower bed and walked them over to it. "We need to shimmy up the stalk of this daffodil and take a look around."

"I'll do it," Tony volunteered. "I'm the best climber," he said, bragging.

"I can climb!" Jamie asserted, insulted by Tony's boast.

"Yeah, right. Maybe in your little virtual world. Weren't you the one to fall off the chair in the kitchen while climbing up to the cabinet looking for biscuits?" Tony said, taunting him.

Before Jamie could retort, Rose stepped in. "All right, that's enough. I'm not spending hours listenin' to you two boys bicker and snip at each other. We're all in this together as a team. Do I make myself clear?" Rose said in her best "I'm the Mum and not putting up with your petty bickering" voice.

"Yes," Tony and Jamie said simultaneously but glaring at one another.

"Good," Rose said, nodding her head. "You can both climb up. Just be careful!"

The boys treated this like some sort of competition, both racing to reach the top. Rose found a pebble to sit on while she watched them, worrying about their climb and the general situation while also trying to focus on the Doctor to ask for help. Zoe sat with her and held her hand. "It'll be all right, Mummy. The grassy jungle is teaming with life, some good and some bad but as along as we're together, the bad can't harm us."

Rose looked down at Zoe. Her little Zo Zo could be so wise it was spooky. Sometimes, it was so much beyond her years it scared Rose a little but the Doctor had told her Zoe would grow into it. She hoped so. She just wanted Zoe to have a childhood too. "Zo Zo, you seein' somethin' in particular?"

Zoe looked out at the grass forest before them. "Friends come in different sizes. Giants do bad things." She paused and turned to Rose. "Something's coming."

Tony yelled from the top of the tulip where he stood amongst the pollen startling Rose out of her worries over Zoe's prophetic and spooky announcement. "Rose! I see it! We're bloomin' miles from the house!"

Jamie crawled up next to him inside the open tulip blossom, sticky yellow pollen now coating his clothing. "Mum! I estimate that we are the equivalent of six point four three kilometers from the house. If we leave now…"

Before he could finish his sentence, a loud buzzing sound filled the air. "No!" Rose breathed as a bee swooped down into the tulip. "Jamie! Tony!" she screamed.

Zoe stared up as the bee tried to fly away with Jamie entangled in it's legs and Tony holding onto Tony's legs trying to pull him back. The bee struggled until it lifted off with both screaming boys attached to it.

Rose and Zoe ran sprinted through the grass, trying to keep the boys and bee in sight. Rose sent a panicked message to Jamie to not let go. Rose lost sight of them as they ventured further into the grass and true panic set in. "No, please!" she kept thinking, her panicked thoughts leaking out to the Doctor spurring him to action without her realizing it. As Rose and Zoe pushed their with through the green grass, shoving blades of it out of their way, climbing over small rocks, pebbles, dead grass and debris, they reached a point when they couldn't continue due to the thickness of the greenery.

"No!" Rose shouted in desperation as tears welled and fell down her face. She pulled out her sonic, trying to find a setting to cut through the grass to let them pass.

"Mummy!" Zoe shouted. Rose paused and looked down at her. Zoe was looking up and Rose looked up too. There at the top of a thick blade of grass was a giant lady bird that appeared to be looking at them.

Rose pulled Zoe into her arms and started to slowly back away into the thick grass trying to sink into the greenery as the giant shiny red beetle with black spots stared at them. Rose felt something odd in the back of her mind. It was a tickly telepathic feeling that made her pause. Zoe pulled out of her arms and ran toward the lady bird. "Zoe, no!"

Zoe looked over her shoulder at Rose. "It's okay, Mummy. She won't hurt us."

"Zoe, you don't know that. To her we may look like tea and biscuits," she whispered as she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Zoe as the large beetle descended.

Zoe sighed and rolled her eyes. "Mummy, lady birds eat aphids, mites and thrips, not people and besides, she's not a standard Earth Coccinellidae, she's from the Sproan system."

"The lady bird's an alien?" Rose asked with a worried look at the approaching lady bird.

"Of course," Zoe said, as if everyone knew this fact. "Earth is a holiday resort for them. Oh and she's telepathic. She says if you stopped shouting in your head, you might hear her. You're terribly noisy."

Rose sighed. "Of course I'd get the cheeky alien bug," Rose muttered. She did her best to calm down her worries and tried to focus on the lady bird. It was an odd feeling. She was used to the Doctor, kids and Tardis in her mind but this was different. It tickled or itched. It wasn't words per se but she got the idea of what the lady bird was trying to communicate but not as clearly as Zoe.

"Hi," Rose said finally as the lady bird sat before them. "My name's Rose and this is Zoe. We don't mean to intrude if this is your um, place."

Rose was receiving flashes of something but couldn't quite comprehend it. Zoe, had no problems. "She says we wouldn't understand her name but it's something like Lady Lihlah Scarlet Sasha Jane Bond," Zoe announced. "But we can call her Ginger and this isn't really her domain."

Rose looked down at her petite, often serious daughter and saw her smiling at the alien Lady Bird named Ginger. "You understand her then?"

Zoe nodded her head. "Kind of. She's nice and wants to help us. She's a mum too. She and her friends are on Earth on holiday. She could sense your concern and it reminded her of watching over her own kids." Zoe explained and then looked back at Ginger and furrowed her brow. "Oh she's also bored and has never met creatures like us before. I think she's someone important on her world, like an empress or something. She never gets to have fun on her home world so she and her ladies came here. She'd like to help and…" Zoe started to giggle.

"And what?" Rose asked, happy to see Zoe having fun.

"Um kick some alien bee arse. The local bees are from Melissa Majoria. It's sort of a neighbor of Ginger's planet. They're kind of rivals."

"The bees are aliens too? Okay," Rose said and nodded her head. She looked at the lady bird who was much bigger than she and Zoe. "Thanks for your help, Ginger," she murmured. "How come we've never talked before? I mean, usually we're much bigger than this but still…I'd of thought we'd of heard from you?"

"She says that humans are too loud inside and never listen and besides, there too big."

Rose smiled. "Oh…yeah, sure we are. Um, sorry if we've not listened. I really am pleased to meet you." Rose received a fluttery happy feeling in response as if Ginger was happy to meet her too and then a mental nudge and a feeling of flying. Rose's eyes lit up and she smiled. "I understand." She turned to Zoe. "Come on, Zo Zo, let's go save the boys and help our friend here show up them annoyin' bees." Ginger pointed out where they could sit safely and then she took flight leaving Rose and Zoe with a feeling of how excited and giddy she was to do this. Rose gripped Zoe as she felt them lift into the air and soon they were zooming through the air, the wind from Ginger's wing's buffeting them. She was heading straight for a flower bed where a bee seemed to be flying in distress.

Rose gasped as dozens of lady birds flew in formation around them. She laughed, smiled brightly and sent happy thoughts to Ginger. "Come on Zo Zo, let's help our lady here score one for the gingers!" Rose and Zoe leaned down to make them more aerodynamic as they felt Ginger and her attendees dive bombed the bee, forcing it to fly lower and closer to the ground.

The lady birds were swooping down and around the bee in some stunning aerial acrobatics when suddenly, Jamie lost his grip and both he and Tony plummeted.

"No!" Rose called out in fear which most certainly was passed along to the Doctor inside the house. The lady birds, however, were ready and a group of them easily caught both boys and flew down to a flower and deposited them onto the soft white bloom. Rose sent her relief and thanks to Ginger who landed on a leaf near the flower and let she and Zoe off.

With a lady bird "Ta ta, off to teach more bees that lady birds are not to be tussled with," she left.

Rose and Zoe watched the armada of lady birds continue to pelt the bee and fly loop de loops around it. Both Rose and Zoe were overwhelmed with giggles. "Not such a bad day after all," Rose told Zoe. "It's not everyday you meet an alien royal lady bird is it?"

Jamie and Tony quickly scampered down the flower and ran to Rose, throughing their arms around her as pollen fell around them like snow. "That was amazing!" Tony said enthusiastically and looked up at Rose with wonder and respect. "It was like United Air Brigade came to rescue us!" Tony said excitedly. Rose hugged him to her tighter at the thought of how wrong this could have gone.

"Maybe not quite that exciting," she said, looking at her boys. "Just a little help from our friendly alien lady birds."

"Alien?" Tony asked, now even more interested. "We have alien lady birds in the garden?"

"Brilliant!" Jamie breathed and then turned to Zoe to learn all about them. As Zoe and Jamie talked about it, Rose looped her arm around Tony.

"I'm proud of you, Tony. You did real well up there. Thank you for trying to save Jamie and stickin' with him."

Tony turned away and toed his trainer into the ground a bit. "He'd of done the same for me."

"Yeah, well it was still brave. Thank you."

Tony shrugged. "We still have to get back to the house. Right?"

Rose nodded. "Did you see what direction when you were up on that flower?" she asked and then looked up at the flower they had landed on.

"Yep!" he said smiling and pointing the way. "We're a bit closer too."

"Well, I suppose there's that. Still, we better get goin. Come on you lot, let's move," Rose said and herded the children forward through the grass. She paused once and looked over her shoulder. She had the uncomfortable feeling they were being watched but she didn't see anything. She turned and made her way through the grass to catch up with the kids but never lost that feeling of being observed. Something was not just watching them, but stalking them.

dwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdw

The Doctor had cobbled together a set of goggles with infra red sensors and super magnification so he could search for his tiny family in the grass. He had also modified a sled that he could lay on and levitate over the grass during his search. He was internally cursing the fact the Tardis wasn't here and he hadn't programmed the auto recall into his sonic. That was going to be his next priority when he returned home. Having the Tardis would have made this so much easier.

During all of his tinkering, he kept feeling Rose's emotions. She was in such turmoil, her mind was so jumbled. It frustrated him that he only could get bits and pieces from her. Part of him was angry at her for not focusing but another part was worried. If something had her that distracted, it was bad. He had received thoughts ranging from bin bags to flies to grassy forests and then there was some terror associated with bees and Jamie and Tony. He had raced out the door to stare at the lawn when he felt her fear. Rose's sharp pang of fear had smacked him hard as if he'd been tossed across the room. His heart had raced as he gazed out helplessly over the lawn with thoughts of what a bee could do to his tiny family along with other thoughts of creatures living in the lawn and the dangers they must be facing.

Of course, Rose's fear was followed by thoughts of lady birds and amusement. That had calmed him down but still. There were so many things outside that could harm them. He needed to find them and soon. Just as he was about to turn on his levitation device and begin his search, the automated sprinklers turned on. "Oh no!" he whispered in terror as he ran off to find the switch to turn off what he knew would be a tsunami of water washing through the yard. In his zest to find them and turn off the water, he was completely oblivious to a mobile ringing and ringing on a table in the house or what the consequences would be for ignoring it.


End file.
